found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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