Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
