ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
