Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
