need another drink. this is the easiest way
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
