i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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