arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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