Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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