Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm having to shit out rocks
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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