Non-Jews are for practice
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They took my balls.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
