I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
