It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
