Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's great music for shaving your balls
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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