he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
