I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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