Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sober January is a disaster.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize