i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
