whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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