I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
