her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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