I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Its about making memories worth repressing
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
