Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
