Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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