her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
