I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I want to fling myself into the sun
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
