She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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