Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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