I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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