I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
