They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You've changed since you got that strap on
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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