found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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