She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
