I'm eating all of the evidence.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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