hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
