eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
