Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Iseethesmoke hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(619): View more from California

dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

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(434): View more from Virginia

you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"

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(231): View more from Michigan

A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

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(802): View more from Vermont

Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.

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