There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We're too hungover to prance.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
