I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
