I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
