just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
