I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize