They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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