i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
