So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
