I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
