She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
