Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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