ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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