Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
