he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
