That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
