how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
