where does the pee come out of this thing
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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