Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
