the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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