Fuck appropriateness.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
