so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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