One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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