Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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