Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize