My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
