Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
